Archive for the ‘fail’ Category

Why @7Sport’s tennis coverage needs to grow up

In fail, feminism, media, sport on January 18, 2014 at 12:39 pm
Todd Woodbridge ... honorary vagina

Todd Woodbridge … honorary vagina

It’s hard to think of an Australian sports event that gets wider international coverage than the Australian Open tennis. You only need to spend half an hour listening to AO Radio to realise that. They’re hearing from listeners around the globe.

The Boxing Day Test might come close, i suppose, but that’s only because two-thirds of India are betting on every ball.

Otherwise it’s hard to think of any others with such a broad appeal worldwide.

It would be great if Seven could show some real commitment and sophistication in their coverage.

Let’s start, for instance, with their attitude to women.

As far as I can work out there are only three women involved in Seven’s commentary team. Rennae Stubbs is courtside and post-match interviews. But only on women’s games. Brit Sam Smith is in the box, but only for women’s games. And only as a sidekick to Todd Woodbridge or Hamish McLachlan.

And what’s with the Brit? Are there no competent Australians around? No doubt Liz Smylie and her cohorts are off earning real money with the American networks. UPDATE: Liz Smylie is earning very few bucks, I suspect, with ABC Grandstand.

And there’s Johanna Griggs who has been doing the voiceovers, mostly saying “not too far away”. Until last night she’s been heard and not seen, which is a shame as she’s a proven on-camera talent and makes a nice change from Bruce McAvaney’s increasingly quirky presence. Special.

Seven, if a woman can umpire a men’s match on centre court in a Grand Slam event, why can’t a woman commentate on it? It’s the same sport, just with uglier outfits and bigger serves. C’mon.

It’s not just the commentary box team that is telling, however. Look at the big guns commentating on the men’s matches for Seven. McAvaney, Fitzgerald, Roger Rasheed, Newcombe and of course, the big money, Jim Courier. Where’s the big spend on the women’s team, Seven? Where’s Evert or Navratilova, or Shriver, or Austin or Smylie or whoever?

Jim Courier stepped on court for a women’s match last night. Of course it was only to tell us that we only had to sit through one more set of women’s tennis before the real stuff started with the upcoming men’s match.

Seven brings in the execrable Henri Leconte every time a French player steps on court. Oh, wait. Every time a French man steps on court. Alize Cornet is going around against Sharapova this morning without the benefit of Leconte’s buffoonery. Actually, thanks for that.

Then there’s Seven’s scheduling. Yesterday, for example, there were three seeded women playing, including the fourth seed and HUGELY popular Li Na, in a cracking three-setter, but Seven chose to focus on a men’s doubles match featuring two young Aussies Kyrgios and Kokkinakis, It wasn’t until there was a delay in that match that they switched to Li Na.

There’s interest in Australian players and then there’s stubborn parochialism that sacrifices good tennis for the sake of a bit of pointless flag-waving. We missed Azarenka the other night, because you thought we wanted to watch Gael Monfils (+ Leconte) and some young American neville called Sock. Earlier in the week we got to watch Aussie neville Josh Thompson while the defending champion Novak Djokovic was going around on another court.

It’s not good enough, Seven. It’s not good enough from a tennis fan’s point of view. It’s not good enough from a woman’s point of view.

Wake up and smell the 21st century, FFS.

Apparently, this is how we are now

In cartoons, fail, oxygen thieves, politics on July 22, 2013 at 1:27 pm


Kevin Rudd, where is your compassion? Hidden under your ego and hunger for power, I see.

In fail, politics, religion on July 21, 2013 at 11:40 am

Kevin Rudd’s new refugee policy is an outrage.

I would love to know what this current crop of power-hungry leaders thinks is the difference between the 15,000 or so asylum seekers arriving by boat now, and the 200,000 or so Vietnamese boat people who came our way in the 70s and 80s.

I can tell you the only difference I see. The asylum seekers wanting our help now are Muslims. That’s it.

This new policy is racist, xenophobic, lazy, fearful, half-arsed, cruel, morally bankrupt and has been delivered with such a look of Rudd glee that it makes me sick looking at the footage.

It’s racist not just because of the Muslims it plans to ship to PNG, but because of the way we are treating our nearest neighbours.

PNG is desperate for our money and our approval. We are about to ship Muslims to a nation with a violent brand of Christianity at the forefront of its culture. We are about to ship men, women and children to a place that does not want them, despises their religion, if they even understand it at all, and has zero resources to deal with them.

The sight of PNG officials standing quietly behind Rudd on Friday, acquiescing to the proposition that the likelihood of being shipped to their country was so horrendous and appalling that it will stop people trying to flee Afghanistan … it made me sick to my guts.

And I’m sorry, but people suffering in Afghanistan and Iran know nothing about PNG and even if they did, their reality is that ANYWHERE IS BETTER THAN HERE … so any belief that this policy will magically stop them coming is utterly delusional.

The tragedy of this is that the bogan, Alan Jones-listening, disinterested, bigoted, unwashed majority out there will love this. LOVE IT.

Labor’s been wanting to win back the western Sydneys of Australia — well, here it is. Rooty Hill’s going to adore this policy. Nice and hard line, nil impact for them, maintains their world view that all Muslims are evil and must be avoided, and keeps Australia for Australians. Pass the kebab, mate.

The current state of Australian politics is completely horrifying to me.

On the right we have a religious fanatic who will say and do anything to be Prime Minister of this country.

On the slightly less right we have a religious fanatic who will say and do anything to be Prime Minister of this country.

We have good people sitting on the sidelines having been knifed, forced to quit, or being kept silent and actionless by some weird internal pact about party loyalty or loss of ambition or something — Malcolm Turnbull, Penny Wong, I’m looking at you.

On the sidelines we have a far left party lead by a charisma-less Robert Redford impersonator in the invidious position of following in the footsteps of a man with an overload of charisma and a cult following.

Then there’s the Australian Democrats who are … what? More to the point, where?

And that leaves Bob Katter’s rabble and Clive Palmer’s insanity.

I don’t like where we’re heading, people. We’re heading for American territory. Galvanised, hateful debate. Every politician spouting fear and sliding to the right. Old timers who you would never have voted for now looking like moderate compassionate statesmen, looked on with nostalgia. Malcolm Fraser, I’m looking at you.


Facebook completely misses the point

In fail, media, oxygen thieves on June 29, 2013 at 12:04 pm

So, you will have noticed the campaign on Twitter (and elsewhere I’m sure) in which giant corporations have had it pointed out to them that their advertising is appearing on Facebook pages that contain hateful content, notably rape, violence, misogyny, etc.

The companies have been urged to remove their advertising dollars from Facebook until such time as Facebook removes such content.

It’s been a very successful campaign. Many companies have indeed stopped advertising with Facebook.

And now, the ultimate success, Facebook has changed their policies.

Oh wait, what? Oh dear.

Yes, dear readers, not for the first time, Facebook’s tin ear has struck again.

Because, instead of changing their CONTENT policy — i.e., banning or refusing to host such hateful content — they have changed their ADVERTISING policy.

So please, continue to hate women, continue to incite violence against women, yes, please do, continue to post pictures, comments and promotions that objectify, disrespect, sexualise and humiliate women. But now, companies will have more control over whether their ads will appear on those pages. Isn’t that great?

No, Facebook, it’s not. You have missed the point. Sadly, this is nothing new for you. Your desperate drive for reach and revenue has once again caused you to take the path of least resistance, the path of least consequence to you.

You have once again failed to take responsibility for your content.

I look forward to the day when we all just grow up and get over you, I really do.

Don’t mention ze var

In fail, great photos, history on June 29, 2013 at 8:01 am


Gutted, frankly

In fail, history, media, politics on June 26, 2013 at 11:11 pm


Kevin Rudd is a feckless son of a bitch. He can spend three years white-anting and poisoning and plotting and scheming and throwing others under the bus. And as I sit here he’s giving his first speech as Rudd Redux and actually has the temerity to talk ethics and honour and purity of purpose.

He stands there praising Julia Gillard and Wayne Swan, two people he has made it his singleminded focus to bring down via leaks, and toxicity and slander and second-hand skullduggery, and he does it without even a blink or a wink or a cheeky half-knowing grin.

I’ve disagreed with Julia Gillard on some things. I’m vehemently opposed to her immigration policy. I believe her anti-gay marriage stance is a cynical position taken to keep the conservatives and the Christian lobby onside. I don’t for one moment believe it’s her actual stance.

But I voted for Bob Hawke’s ALP when he backflipped on uranium mining and screwed me over with tertiary fees. I voted for Keato’s ALP even though he was a slimy bugger. I voted for Kim Beazley’s ALP for fuck’s sake. I voted for Rudd’s ALP the first time around because the man knows how to campaign and he said all the right things.

And I voted for Julia Gillard’s ALP in 2010 despite a deep feeling that the she had come to the job the wrong way.

And now they’re asking for me to vote for Rudd’s ALP again.

An ALP gutted of its some of its best and brightest. Swan, Combet, Conroy, Emerson, and, of course, Gillard herself. All because they cannot stomach working for Rudd again. Augurs well, doesn’t it.

(You’ll notice I don’t care much what Peter Garrett does. The man’s a windsock who could have been leader of the Greens right now, with an enormously important job to do, soul intact, if he’d just had the spine to resist the lure of the Big Party.)

I don’t think I can do it, comrades. I don’t think I can.

I’m glad Albo is staying on. I’m glad Swanny will fight in September. I want to know what Plibersek, Macklin, Smith and Tony Bourke are doing. I want to know what their thoughts are and how comfortable they are.

I’m delighted Penny Wong is now leader of the Senate, though it was disconcerting to see her marching in lock-step behind Rudd this evening post-Caucus. Ultimately, she is wasted in the Senate, but I hope she has a place on the front bench.

Kevin Rudd blubbed like a sook when he got knifed. Julia Gillard was solid and strong and remarkably good-humoured and composed. I think that says everything about the two personalities, and the two motivations at work with these people.

I would have taken Julia’s strength and negotiating skills and Parliamentary performance any day over Rudd’s smarm and pseudo-trendy teenager speak. Zip off, indeed.

I don’t particularly want to vote Green. Not in the House of Reps at least. Senate, sure.

But right now I feel like my ALP is a sham. A hollowed out sham, allowing the whims of a bored media pack and the egos of its leading lights to dictate terms in a soap opera, not a government.

As for Julia Gillard, she has my admiration, and my deepest sympathy. She’s been cool, strong, gracious, smart, determined and FUCKING SUCCESSFUL.

She deserved better. So did we.

Bill Shorten is a treacherous arse

In fail, oxygen thieves, politics on June 26, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Et tu, Dickhead?

Seriously, is there anything more pathetic than a politician eating his own words.

Here it is, voters … The comic stylings of Mal Brough (and/or his team)

In fail, feminism, great photos, media, oxygen thieves, politics on June 12, 2013 at 1:25 pm


It is amazing to me that this kind of hate is still considered acceptable by some sections of our society.

It is amazing to me that this was sent, allegedly to a “journalist” (Peter van Onselen) back in March, but he did nothing about it.


It is amazing to me that Joe Hockey, a man not unfamiliar with food, I think you’ll agree, to have been at the fundraiser and yet claim to have not seen the menu:


It is amazing to me that Tony Abbott can acknowledge the offensiveness of the menu and yet when asked if this will affect Mal Brough’s pre-selection, can say “absolutely not”.

It will be amazing to me if any of this reaches anyone west of Petersham or anyone, for that matter, not on Twitter. Because if it makes it as far as the 6pm news tonight it will be reduced to a 30-second sound byte. And yet Julia Gillard will continue to be slammed for her ‘gender wars’ speech a day ago.

I will be amazed and disappointed if any woman with a brain can have the lack of self-respect to vote for these Liberal arseclowns come September 14.

I’m amazed a woman as smart as Julie Bishop can bear the cognitive dissonance working with said arseclowns must inflict on her psyche every day.

What the actual fuck has happened to our politics??

There’s only one thing stupider than a cigarette …

In fail, funny, oxygen thieves on June 8, 2013 at 5:53 pm

… and that’s an electronic cigarette.


What. The. Actual. Fuck?

I know these have been around for a fair while, but I’ve never paid much attention. And then last night in the middle of some football converge, on comes an informercial.

Different flavours — apple, vanilla, coffee, chocolate. Hell, why not just dip a piece of chocolate in a cup ‘o’ liquid nicotine?

Believe the ad and you’ll believe smoking these ludicrous objects will save you $7000 a year on your cigarette bill. Despite the flavour refills and the chargers and the blah blah blah.

But hey, if you’re prepared to make a public goose of yourself pretending to smoke on these things by sucking on ‘em in public, why not stick it in your computer’s USB port to recharge during a business meeting.

Remember those candy cigarettes we used to be able to buy as kids? They were more sensible and cool than an electronic cigarette. And at least they had nutritional value.

Smoking is a dumb thing to start doing.

Buying an electronic cigarette because you can’t bear the loss of cool giving up smoking will cost you?

Pricelessly dumb.

So, today I got called a fat cunt

In fail, oxygen thieves, Sydney, travel on June 5, 2013 at 11:15 pm

Gosh, it was fun.

It was a routine evening in Sydney’s public transport world. The 412 was running, oh, about 55 minutes late, as multiple numbers of every other bastard route came and went. When it arrived, it was packed, naturally, but I scored a seat. Yay me.

A few stops on and a charmer clambers on. Yelling before the doors were closed. Calling us all fucking cunts, wanting a seat because his wrist was in a cast. Telling us all he was from the Shire, like that was going to make us give up our seat for him. Abused a woman for reading a book. Had a crack at “all youz cunts texting”.

Passed me with a glancing “look at that fat cunt”.

By the time the time the dust had settled there were about 20 people between me and him. I was all for wandering up to him and challenging him to call me that again to my face. But by the time there was a clear route to him, he slopped off into the night.

Much to the relief of my loved ones. Frankly, I was up for it.

I know bus drivers have a tough job. I wouldn’t want it. But isn’t it the bus driver’s job to stop these arseclowns in their tracks? Kick them off the bus before they do this crap?

Bring back conductors-slash-guards, I say.

Arseclown of a day, seriously. Arseclown of a city, frankly.


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