Archive for the ‘funny’ Category
*giggling like a loon*
Thanks to Paul Verhoeven who posted this on Twitter a couple of days back.
All hotel rooms are not created equal, ladies and gentlemen. Even when they cost the same, and are described the same.
My King room at the Novotel on Collins in Melbourne promised a couch and an ottoman. And floor to ceiling glass.
Neither of those things have eventuated, however. It is in fact one of those bizarre corner rooms wedged between the rest of the floor and the pool/spa. A weird space, too big for a broom closet and too oddly shaped to be what a King room should be.
But I can forgive all because of the most bizarre lampshade in the history of the world. What is that about??
As you know, gentle readers, I am fully engaged in the magical process of applying for employment.
Today, in the process of applying for another seven positions, I came across the following piece of linguistic arseclownery:
To be successful in your application you will be a maze-bright person.
Apparently, being maze-bright means being politically savvy, sensitive to the way people and organisations operate.
We all know that applying for jobs is a gentle, peaceful walk through the garden of self-enhancement, but seriously?
I’m maze-bright. I’m also calorie-magnetic, wanker-averse and sarcasm-adept. HIRE ME!
If your workplace is anything like the one I used to inhabit, this does the rounds regularly … particularly Alan, Alan, Alan.
Genius of a particularly British kind.
Damn, girl. Time to start working on those kegels.